From: Rosen <[redacted]> To: [redacted] Subject: still alive btw Date: Wed, 08 Jul 2026 13:14:58 GMT Message-ID: [redacted] I just forgot to update this a little --- From: Rosen <[redacted]> To: [redacted] Subject: aaaaaaasdf Date: Fri, 26 Jun 2026 00:03:17 GMT Message-ID: [redacted] I just wish I was more mentally stable. I had a big mood swing and then cut myself in the bathroom. I'll try not to do it again. I'm just glad this isn't happening more frequently. Or that I don't have enough courage to do suicide. Sorry if I'm mentioning really heavy topics, I just don't know where else to vent. I'll work on my page more. Everything's fine now, but i do feel a little sad really often. --- From: Rosen <[redacted]> To: [redacted] Subject: I'm back Date: Wed, 24 Jun 2026 15:54:03 GMT Message-ID: [redacted] I'm back and i feel better now, sorry about that last post. There was also an emotional spike so I guess the jun 20 email was a lie. Oooooops. I'll try to be more cautious later. --- From: Rosen <[redacted]> To: [redacted] Subject: I hate how my arms look. Date: Tue, 23 Jun 2026 12:11:40 GMT Message-ID: [redacted] I hate how my arms look. I hate how my arms look. I wish I could just cut them off without any consequences. They look so terrible. They're the reason I always wear a long sleeve shirt when i go outside. I've been trying to undo the damage for months now but it just keeps happening again and again. I don't know what to do. They hurt like hell every day because of it. Please just let me die --- From: Rosen <[redacted]> To: [redacted] Subject: Hdfgghfhgf Date: Tue, 23 Jun 2026 00:34:26 GMT Message-ID: [redacted] Working on my website more. I'm going to the organ hall again tommorow. Also my birthday is soon,,,gfgjdghjdfghj , I can't wait to celebrate it and get lots of gifts:DD --- From: Rosen <[redacted]> To: [redacted] Subject: small upd. Date: Sun, 21 Jun 2026 01:29:54 GMT Message-ID: [redacted] also ooooops ill try to update the introduction page more sorryy --- From: Rosen <[redacted]> To: [redacted] Subject: More rambling.. Date: Sun, 21 Jun 2026 01:28:16 GMT Message-ID: [redacted] Art should disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed. It is once again very late for me. I don't know why I'm always writing so late. Maybe i just get more philosophical, and think about myself more in the quiet wonders of the night. I feel a little euphoric after everything that happened before the summer vacation. Like a long pain has just gone away. Anyways, for some reason I sometimes think about myself negatively without getting sad or being in a depressed state. Maybe it's that I accepted the fact that I'm useless. I don't know if that's a good thing. On one hand it isn't severely impacting my mental state, but on the other hand I don't think seeing myself in a negative light is a good idea at all. I'll figure things out later. Also i kind of hate how my typing style looks in these emails.. Goodnight!! --- From: Rosen <[redacted]> To: [redacted] Subject: Thoughts are the opposite of sleeping Date: Sat, 20 Jun 2026 01:19:21 GMT Message-ID: [redacted] It's really late for me (I can already see the sun rising) and, as usual, I can't sleep. I kind of wish my mental state was better. I'm struggling with an addiction, depression and ADHD (likely). I also have dozens of other things that just make my life worse. I'm starting to feel differently though. I don't know why but ever since I watched [redacted], I felt a breeze of thoughts and fantasies. I don't know what's happening to me or why it was that show specifically, since it wasn't even that life-changing. Maybe it's the character I'm obsessed with. Maybe it's the moral of the story. I don't know. I'll write more later. --- From: Rosen <[redacted]> To: [redacted] Subject: I'm back! Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2026 13:27:41 GMT Message-ID: [redacted] I'll probably type more grammatically since it makes more sense in an email. I'm going to a rehearsal to the organ hall again. The organ is pretty fun to play on, but I like the piano more. I feel like it has a richer texture --- From: Rosen <[redacted]> To: [redacted] Subject: aaaaaaa Date: Wed, 17 Jun 2026 08:16:24 GMT Message-ID: [redacted] hiii!! im so glad we got in contact,,, im kind of tired today though so i'll write to you later